A Closer Look At Answering Machine Messages.

A Closer Look At Answering Machine Messages.

Do you have an answering machine? If so what type of answering machine messages do you have? The reason I’m asking you this is that of late, I have been noticing that most people have started personalizing their answering machine messages. Even those who never bothered to do so for years and years. And most of these answering machine messages, if not all of them are rather funny.

I still remember that answering machine message that I heard that went, “Hi! You have reached XYZ. I’m not home right now. If it is mom or dad, please send money. If it is the bill collector, the check is in the mail. If it is the IRS I don’t have money and if you owe me money, tell me where you are and I’ll get there right away!” There is no doubt that an answering machine message that sounds like that will surely have your sides in splits as well.

There was another answering machine message I heard that went, “You have reached the house of the XYZ’s. Obviously we are not in right now, so why don’t you call us back at a more easonable time? We promise to take your call if we are in.” To me, this sort of a message sounded almost rude. But when it comes to answering machine messages and a sense of humor, consistency or sameness can hardly be expected.

In recent times, probably because of the want of something better, answering machine messages have achieved a kind of cult status. Most people I know shudder at the thought of creating and storing the right kind of answering machine messages.

This is not because they don’t know what to say or how to say it, but purely because everyone seems to be in the quest for the perfect sort of answering machine messages that is funny, memorable and better than the scores of answering machine messages they have already heard.

But answering machine messages don’t just stop there. Even those who leave messages on answering machines tend to take humor rather seriously. One unforgettable response to a rather plain answering machine message went as follows. “Hi there! When I called in, I was hoping to find someone interesting to sell this service to. But after hearing your answering machine message, I’m not sure you are the right kind of person I’m looking for. So goodbye. And don’t bother calling me even if you have my number on your machine!” Now how does that grab you as a clever retort to answering machine messages.

The 6 Best Seduction Techniques!!!

The 6 Best Seduction Techniques!!!

The dating game is all about the approach. If you dont try you are never going to get a date on your terms. Most people feel a little intimidated when they enter the dating game. They feel the pressure when trying to walk up to someone they dont know and ask for a date. Breaking the ice is an important first step in this nerve racking process in the search for romance.The opening words you may utter will speak volumes. Literally, in less than 10 seconds you will either have set yourself up for life, have a definite date, or be going home alone as usual with your tail between your legs.

The initial step in initiating a date are simple but daunting. Psychologists tell us that people make their mind up within seconds and I think most of us who are truthful will agree that we know pretty much instantly if we are attracted to someone or not. This can be changed over time but why make it hard for ourselves? Why not strike when the irons hot and grab our date on the first attempt.

If that is the case why is speaking still important? Well, looks are the visual presentation and if someone likes the look of us, its a start but not the full package.

Here are some tips :

1) SMILE -

Psychology and body language experts agree that one of the easiest things you can do to make yourself instantly attractive and approachable is to smile. Make yourself look like a fun person to be with. The look of happiness is an attractive quality.

2) EYE CONTACT -

Harvard psychologist Zick Rubin discovered that when deeply in love, couples look at each other when talking, and are slower to look away when someone else joins the conversation. Simply lock eyes with the person you are attracted to and keep them there, even when they’ve finished talking or someone else joins in,’ advises sexpert and flirting guru Tracy Cox. This way they will know that you’re more interested in them than the other person. If they hold your gaze several times in a row, you can be quietly confident they like you too.

3) COPY BODY MOVEMENTS -

Mirroring someone’s body language is the single most effective thrick to flirting. Just match their gestures and movements. We like people who are like us. If they mirror our behaviour we sense they are on the same level and they tend to drop their guard and let us into their personal space. If the other person is interested they tend to start copying your body language too.

4) LISTEN -

They will feel more important and flattered if they feel you are listening to them. You are making them feel good about themselves and if they feel good about them selves they are more likely to stick around you, giving you all the time you need to impress them.

5) TOUCH -

Touch is the number one instant bonder. A momentary touch can have an electric effect on how somebody feels about you. The more you like someone, the more you want to touch them and the more you touch them, the more they tend to like you.

6) COMPLIMENTS -

Compliments, if done correctly will always make someone feel good about themselves. They are more likely to like you and become more responsive to your advances

It is often said that women are genrally attracted to men who are witty and amusing. This can be confirmed if you look at any dating column request. “Must have a (GSOH) good sense of humor”. A funny, comical approach is always a great opener. Women dont want a 24hour stand up comedian but to break the ice, humor does work. The delivery of this humor is essentially the key, which brings me to my final point.

Chat up lines. They do work, and always will if done correctly. For some, chat up lines are a chore and look stressful to watch. Many come across as aggressive and foolish just because their anxiety levels are rocketing. Under these stress level they just tense up or communicate in a manner they would under normal circumstances. It is all about practice and confidence. The more people you speak to, the more socialable you become and the quicker you will master it.

Look at chat up lines as an ice breaker, not the foundations of a potential relationship

Wedding Toast Guide

Wedding Toast Guide

Standing in front of friends and relatives speaking your wedding toast can be a nerve-wrenching experience. You worry that you will stammer and stutter, or worse get so nervous that everyone will be able to hear the shakiness in your voice. Preparation is the key to relieving yourself of some of this nervousness. As far as what you say, that is a bit trickier. In a mixed crowd (namely one that includes your parents and in-laws), you know that your wedding toast needs to meet a certain standard. There are no rules to follow to create a memorable wedding toast, but as long as your wedding toast includes humor, sentiment, and is an enjoyable length and pace, it will go over well with your guests.

All Jokes Aside
It’s true that humor can break the ice and help you to feel more at ease about presenting your wedding toast, however, don’t just throw out jokes. Is there a story about you and your significant other that has a humorous ending? These go over much better than what you might find in a joke book. If you decide to tell a personal story, check with your significant other to make sure it is acceptable. One thing that can definitely ruin a wedding toast is the look of embarrassment or anger on your mate’s face.

Tell Them How You Feel
Showing public sentiment is typically more difficult for men. So just by adding a bit of emotion to a wedding toast will go over well for the groom. You don’t have to make it very deep. Just a few words that show your guests how you feel about your mate are sufficient. Mystery is a good element to couple with emotion when giving your toast. By hinting at something that is only known to you and your mate also makes the toast romantic.

Keep it Moving
You know how you’re talking to someone and you have the urge to finish their statements for them because they take the round about way to say something? Don’t do this with your wedding toast. This is the fastest way to lose your guests and to slow down the reception. It is a good idea to practice your toast several times. Memorize it if that helps.

Keep it Short
A wedding toast is a speech, but a SHORT one. You don’t want to put people to sleep or worse, have people leaving the ceremony. Practice the toast beforehand and make sure that it is no longer than a few minutes.

Characteristic Of A Gifted Child

Characteristic Of A Gifted Child

Since it is widely agreed upon in the educational and child development communities that early recognition of the characteristics of a gifted child, is a key factory in successfully developing the child, it is important for the parent to have at least a general understanding of these gifted characteristics.
First of all in order to be classified as a gifted child, the child must have the ability to perform at a level that is significantly beyond other children of like age. O.K. So, for a parent, what might this look like or what should I look for in my child?
The following are some guidelines to help your awareness when it comes to recognizing the characteristics of a gifted child. Keep in mind that there are varying levels of giftedness, as you view the guidelines.
Cognitive Skills (thinking or though processing)
Ability to master new skills with extraordinary speed.
A deeper knowledge than other children the same age.
Extraordinary memory and recall of events, facts, and/or figures.
Advanced creativity and ability to improvise.
Acute alertness to their surroundings.
Advanced or more complex sense of humor.
Learning Patterns
Great and constant curiosity along with high level of motivation to learn.
As a result of the previous, being bored easily if not challenged
Advanced ability to stay focused or lengthy attention span. Even with more difficult topics.
Advance organizational or planning skills.
Advance logic and problem solving skills.
Speech and Language
Well developed word vocabulary and language compared to children of the same age.
Creative uses of words and sentence structure and again, sense of humor.
Ability to adapt their use of the language to a given level to fit the situation.
Ability to understand and carry out complex instructions.
General advanced ability in reading, writing, and working with numbers.
Social
Sensitivity to other’s feelings
Use of their advance language skills to resolve conflict or debate.
Organize and direct behavior of other children (may seem bossy to other children).
Many times will feel more ‘at home’ with older children.
May have high expectations of themselves (and others) that can lead to frustration and even anger.
Other
A generally high aptitude for logical problems, games, puzzles, or any type of problem solving or activity that requires creative thinking and reaction.
Final Note: Although these characteristics of a gifted child may provide you with some initial insight and understanding, it is important to seek a formal assessment of your child in this area if you feel that your child exhibits several of these characteristics.

Some Derby Contenders Have a Distinct Advantage

Some Derby Contenders Have a Distinct Advantage

Some contenders hold a noticeable advantage before they break from two gates. Others, however, must buck negative trends that go back decades.

For example, no horse with four or fewer career starts has smelled the roses since Exterminator in 1918. So, it does not look good for Showing Up who won the Lexington Stakes on April 22.

Since 1947, the only horse with two preps that won the Kentucky Derby was Sunny’s Halo in 1983. That is a bad omen for Private Vow and Sharp Humor.

Barbaro, Sharp Humor, and Flashy Bull, 1-2-7 in the Florida Derby, will attempt to become the first with a layoff of five weeks or more to score since Needles in 1956.

Runners in Gulfstream’s showcase race that train up to the Derby have not done well when it is staged in April. There are exceptions, but those Florida Derby winners later won at Louisville: Northern Dancer in 1964 following the Blue Grass and Tim Tam in 1958 after the Derby Trial.

No horse since Proud Clarion in 1967 won without a stakes victory in his or her career. Goodbye Flashy Bull, Jazil, Mister Triester, Steppenwolfer, and Storm Treasure.

An even tougher trend to overcome is finishing fifth or worse in the final prep. Iron Liege last performed the feat in 1957. Thus, the odds are stacked against Deputy Glitters, Flashy Bull, and Seaside Retreat.

A pedigree that combines stamina and speed is a big plus. Point Determined is one example. He is bred to love the 1 1/4 miles and is from the first crop of Point Given, winner of the 2001 sophomore races except The Derby, partly because he only had two preps. Bob and John and Jazil were sired by Seeking the Gold, winner of the 1991 Derby.

Other pluses include horses that won at a mile or longer as a juvenile, but it is not a make or break requirement: Deputy Glitters, Keyed Entry, Mr. Triester, Sinister Minister, Steppenwolfer, and Sweetnorthernsaint won without meeting it.

Many horses over the years have failed to handle the Churchill Downs surface. Therefore, arriving early at Louisville and working over the track is important.

Three workouts, with one marked handily, are ideal and indicate the horse should respond when asked to stretch out.

However, it really all comes down to who will put it all together and get a clean trip on May 6.

Bet the Kentucky Derby and all Triple Crown Races @ Wagerweb.com Racebook

Entertainment and Media Production for your Business. Why?

Entertainment and Media Production for your Business. Why?

<p>You are a business. You do well. Why do you need to worry about what Entertainment and Media Production companies can do for you? Why would you need to hire some weird artist to make your company’s exposure to the public more attractive? Let’s get to the bottom line. Revenue! You can actually increase your revenue through the way that you expose yourself in the media. This is not a new idea it’s just advertising.
<p>Entertainment and Media Production companies can do a lot for your business. They can make you literature more visually appealing and easy to read and understand. They can make your TV and radio commercials for you. They can even make great designs your internal newsletter. How does this affect the bottom line? It draws people in to what you want them to read, see or hear. That generates more sales leads, which in turn generate more revenue.
<p>Good and attractive media helps your company look professional. Looking professional helps customers trust you. These customers can be individual buyer or business to business customers. People are more likely to buy from you if the trust you. Many times all the customer sees is your literature. In many businesses they don’t see you office building, or your factory, all they see is your literature and your product. Make your product look great. Then, make you literature look great too.
<p>Good entertainment media, like ads and TV spots can actually work hard for you. A good ad can raise the top of mind awareness for your company or product. As it does this it also positions your company in their mind. Let’s say you own a bank and you ask your entertainment media production department to come up with a TV spot promoting your bank. If they create a TV spot that looks like it was done in a garage, then your bank will be positioned in the minds of the consumers as an unprofessional banking firm. However, if they do an excellent job and make a TV spot that has the feeling of solidarity, then the consumers will position you as a secure bank. In short, find your position then let your ads, TV spots and literature exemplify that position.
<p>Be careful with entertainment media. Vulgarity, offensiveness and even humor can get you in to trouble. You media should never be vulgar or offensive. You are trying to entice people to trust you not turn them away. Humor can be a great tool but it can also be a stumbling block. When you use humor, make sure that it has a purpose (i.e. sell a product or position you company in the mind of the consumers). If it is funny but unrelated. Don’t do it! It won’t help.
<p><br>
Here are a few guidelines about how to use entertainment media.
<p>
<ol>
<li> Make it look professional</li>
<li>Don’t be uptight. It is okay to have fun as long you don’t forget your purpose</li>
<li>Be Fresh but tight. Make all of entertainment media productions clean and appealing</li>
<li>Make it memorable</li>
<li>Make it friendly (this applies to most businesses</li>
<li>Don’t put anything in that is vulgar or offensive</li>
<li>Make it fun. Remember that it is called entertainment media production, there should be an element of entertainment.</li>
<li>Make your views feel like you are a long-time friend</li>
<li>Make it speak your company values. Make your media speak volumes about your company by their layout and design not just the type.</li>
<li>Get it done professionally!</li>
</ol>
<br>
Entertainment media production is a powerful tool in helping generate revenue. Let me close with and example. A few years ago BMW took an interesting approach to advertising. They produced a few of short films that featured their cars. These were actual films but every drove BMW cars. They offered these for free to whom ever wanted one and on the DVD was a brochure for their cars. The films were a great way to promote their cars. Be creative when you work with media and it will serve you well.

Put Some Snap Into It.

Put Some Snap Into It.

The difference between a public speaking presentation that bores you to tears and one that leaves you with a smile on your face and thinking about that presentation is often not the content but the style of the speaker. You can take the same exact written talk and give it to two speakers and one will turn that script into an exciting live event for his audience and the other will leave that crowd cold.

Obviously your goal as to be that speaker that can really make any presentation come alive. The first "myth" to get out of your head then is that how well you do at creating excitement has anything whatsoever to do with your subject matter. While it always helps for you to be excited about the topic itself, you can develop the skills to take any text and turn it into a genuinely exciting public speaking event for any crowd and to do it every time. Its just a matter of knowing how.

Much of how excited your audience will be has to do with your own level of energy, your sense of humor and how much you are enjoying yourself up there. This is one of the great secrets of the really great entertainers or public speakers. If you are having fun, your audience will have fun too. Fun is contagious. Think of the great late night host Johnnie Carson. He always seemed to be having a great time. And as a result the world wanted to join him and have a great time too. You can cultivate that personality and that attitude when you are on stage.

To have fun during your public speaking engagement, you have to learn to have some fun with the subject matter. This is not always easy if the subject matter is mundane and ho hum. But if you see that topic as boring, so will your crowd and your time talking to them will be a tedious trial on your soul and on theirs too. So have some fun even with how mundane the topic is. If you join the audience in their feelings about the topic, you and they become partners to find the excitement in this topic.

But along with finding excitement in the topic, learn to have fun with the audience. You can do that even before you begin to speak on the outline at hand. Take some time to step away from the podium and interact with the audience. Ask them questions and learn who the vocal members of the crowd are. Find out who the big jokers are and the ones who will have some wise cracks to add as you speak.

These connections and spontaneous friendships will pay off as the presentation begins. But you are doing something dangerous there too. By energizing the crowd, you are also giving them permission to jump in during your talk and "help you out". As you begin to speak, put energy and excitement, humor and personality into that text. The excitement of the crowd that sprung into existence because you started your relationship with them with affection and humor will feed your presentation.

Yes, if you put this kind of snap and pop into your time in front of a crowd, you will see feedback come back from that audience, particularly from those wise crackers you took time to make friends with at the start. But as scary at having that kind of interruption is, it means your crowd is energized and you an actually used that for your advantage. You can actually develop the ability to "surf" these interruptions and use them to propel your prevention forward. By teasing the crowd, asking them questions, the funny remarks that come back will actually be pertinent to what you have to say next. You can take your cues from their comments and take them right back to your outline and take the presentation forward to its conclusion.

This kind of public speaking can be dangerous and more than a little scary to learn to do. But because you had fun and our audience had fun, that presentation is full of "snap" and is 100% more successful. And that makes it worth taking the risks to learn this kind of public speaking.

Chappelles Block Party Is A Worthy Watch

Chappelles Block Party Is A Worthy Watch

The elusive stand-up comic with worldwide exposure known as Dave Chappelle recently produced a film that is part music-video, part documentary. Using his fame to give back to the community, Chappelle commissioned several buses to load up people from his semi-rural community and take them to New York City for the block party of a lifetime. Chappelle provides food, hotel stays, and transportation for the invitees, and the look on their faces as he invites them really can put a smile on your face. No tickets were on-sale for the concert; Chappelle kept it largely underground, only informing a few of the local neighborhoods about the performance.

Headlining artists at the super-secretive show included such hip-hop heavyweights as Kanye West, the Fugees, the Roots, and several other notable artists. The concert was provided free of charge by Chappelle to help give back to the people that supported him throughout his career, as well as providing a means for racial cohesion through the cross-section of races and ages of the people whom he invited.

The movie follows Chappelle as he gets the show together, handing out golden tickets to the show like a modern-day Willy Wonka. Part of the humor provided by the film is the expressions on the faces of some of the older white women who agree to make the trip to New York to experience something new. And that is exactly what Chappelle was hoping for; exposure of his favorite music to those who would not normally give it a second’s listen. The film provides a message of unity and hope, giving a very positive outlook on racial relations. Chappelle is his usual goofy self, providing one-liners and humorous allusions that keeps the audience in stitches between acts.

Those who love Chappelle’s sense of humor but are not fans of the hip-hop genre may not get what they were expecting in this film; while Chappelle puts laughs in throughout the film, the focus is clearly on the music. The artists themselves put their best foot forward, showcasing various talents in the genre with their finest works. All in all, the film is well-suited for those already familiar with the artists that are involved or those who have an open mind towards new musical tastes. It provides an introspective look at the cultures and communities that separate us, and how our differences can help us to bind together.

Wedding Speeches

Wedding Speeches

One of the most daunting tasks for the best man might be what he has to do at the wedding reception. Tradition dictates that the best man has to give a speech, and today, more and more brides are asking their maid or matron of honor to do the same thing. The thing about these wedding speeches is that no one every really knows what to say. Some people are naturally gifted and writing and delivering a great speech, but most people suffer through it, and have no idea what they should do or say.

I have twice now seen people freeze in the middle of wedding speeches out of pure fright. Perhaps there is a lot of pressure to give the perfect speech, and everyone fears their wedding speeches may be memorable for all the wrong reasons. Some people like to use humor, but this can be very tricky. Talking about the couples first date might be funny, but Grandma won’t like it if it involves drinking and public nudity. It’s hard to think of things that may interest everyone and the speakers often feel the pressure of this before they even stand up and open their mouth.

If you have to give a speech soon, you will be glad to know that help is out there. You can find good wedding speeches online that you can customize to the bride and groom. This may help you relax a little, because at least you know at the very least it was a good speech when you started. If you are having trouble personalizing the speech, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Just make sure you pick something appropriate for everyone.

If you want to write your own wedding speeches, make sure you take some time to think it through, and run it by a few people before the big day. Try to stay away from saying anything you wouldn’t want anyone to say about you in front of all of your family and most of your close friends. You can use humor; just make sure you aren’t going to make Aunt Jane pass out. Remember to keep it simple. Great wedding speeches don’t have to be long and detailed; they simply have to come from the heart. If you write something that comes directly from your heart and your love of the couple, you really won’t have anything to worry about.

What better way to celebrate the Christmas season than with a chocolate holiday gift? This most favorite confection has become a holiday tradition that many of us truly love, especially those of us on the receiving end

What better way to celebrate the Christmas season than with a chocolate holiday gift? This most favorite confection has become a holiday tradition that many of us truly love, especially those of us on the receiving end

Humor is an important element during this stressful time of year. If you know anyone who gets a little tense during the Christmas season you can inject a little humor into your chocolate holiday gift. There are a couple of options that are certain to evoke giggles and smiles.

The Christmas Survival Chocolate bar is a prime choice for stress-out friends and relatives. What could be more relaxing than a chocolaty escape? You can find this funny holiday chocolate bar conveniently on the Internet. This is a favorite choice for anyone who loves a laugh along with a treat.

Another great humorous choice is the Mistletoe Man Magnet. Now, this Christmas chocolate present comes equipped with mistletoe but I’m sure that the chocolate is alluring enough for most of us. The recipient is instructed to hold the bar over his head for optimal results. How irresistible is that?

Humorous Christmas presents are wonderful but there are occasions that call for something a little more serious. Whether you are looking for a great corporate Christmas gift to distribute or you just want to impress someone special. The wooden box assortment is ideal for you.

Companies that offer the wooden keepsake box along with the chocolates typically include seasonal flavors that are available during this time of year. Some of my personal favorites are the cherry blossom which is a fine mix of dried cherries, marzipan and deep, dark chocolate.

You can’t go wrong with the espresso flavored confections. These treats merge two favorites that most adults have come to know and love. You can find the espresso versions infused with a hint of hazelnut or vanilla. This is one of the most popular choices for this season.

Other Christmas-inspired flavors include sparkling cinnamon and rich raspberry. Of course, there are plain milk and dark chocolates in the mix as well. The wooden keepsake box is a wonderful choice not only for the treats but for the container as well. It is rare to find a keepsake along with a chocolate holiday gift.

When you are shopping around, try browsing through your chocolaty options this season. Your friends and family will be thrilled that you did.